Home Glass Heroes

At the foot of the bed sits a rusty-red leather hat. This hat has seen many an adventure, whether it be visiting ancient tombs in north east Africa, or hunting down blood mages in the rain forests. A world like none other, Semi Side Up, a planet built from the ground up by the Major Planetary Contractors Co.

“This all seems a bit cheesy, yes, but do try and explain why there were dirty road cones laying in the bathroom floor?”

There is a short pause, then the man in red begins to speak. “I parked my Miata in a red zone, and when I got home they were in my back seat. I figured we could keep them so I wouldn’t have to return them as a lost and found.”

I’m having you to toast the pesticides, rack in a mole then see the burn.

Plastered on the window, shes can write, praying to god that he won’t die.

Man in red: I played baseball with that guy!

a.k.a: Did you now?

Man in red: Yeah he was center field. Great catcher, in fact he was better than me.

a.k.a: It’s a grashindoo thing. Sitting on the bar keep. He’s staring out the window, theres a gum stain on the carpet.

Taylor Bow

I have acquired a username and password for this great home video collection featuring Taylor Bow. I will at some point make these videos available for free on my site for your convenience.

Handicap me Captain!

Lately i’ve been wondering around the “Smokers Realm”.  For a split second I thought I had seen a ghost, but it was only a smoke cloud, rising to the ceiling.  I looked around hard for a place to sit, but it was hard to see; my eyes were watering so badly.  I finally stumbled my way across the room into a seperate area for non smokers.  While completely overusing the word “I”, I thought “why would they have the non smokers area across the room to which you would have to cross the smokers area to get here?”.

Sooner or later you’ll see patrons gathering outside with picket signs, trying to boycott the place.  For one thing if anyone ever noticed, the place is called Smokers Realm.  If you don’t like smoking then why the fuck are you here?  It is a custom to have to walk through the smokers area to get to the non smoking area.  Like a trademark all Smokers Realm restaurants have.

What a beautiful world we live in.

I’d love to say, for the one millionth time in my life, that this this country is completely filled with idiots and fat people. Today I seriously thought I was going to go down to the local pawn shop on Johnson and purchase me a weapon to shoot some things. You would think that america was against common sense or something. Just about every single person that comes into Hastings is a moron. Today I had this seamingly innocent old lady come up to me, while in the video department, and asks where the DVD’s are. Hello, you’re surrounded by fucking DVD’s! After a few minutes of trying to understand why she would be asking such a stupid question, she decides to tell me it’s not just any DVD she’s looking for, but a christian DVD. Wow, was it really that hard to say you wanted a christian DVD in the first place? Go home and overdose on a glass of warm rancid milk lady. The list of idiots that come into that store just keeps getting longer by the millisecond, by the way thats one thousandth (10-³) of a second. I could keep on with my rantings but it’s four in the morning and I really need some sleep. Maybe i’ll dream about ridding the world of useless meat bags.